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Old 10-17-2014, 09:16 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by tinkwithanr View Post
Time.

For something so rigid and consistent, isn't it a wonder how differently it can be perceived. When caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it passes us by with a speed that we don't even comprehend. Days turn into weeks. Weeks into months. And before you know it the car you parked in the garage last weekend has been sitting, mothballed for a decade. It happens all to easily. It was that same force that got her to the place in her life that I met her. It's funny though, how the thing that seemed to be slowly killing her was actually her last line of defense from a greater, unforeseen force. Hindsight reveals the clearest of pictures only after their usefulness has passed.


The first few weeks we spent together passed so quickly, countless nights spent getting to know each other.




With a goal of getting her back on the road to really feel what she needed, getting her heart beating again was the first order of business. Fluids were flushed, throttle bodies rebuilt, and a completely new fuel system was installed.












As the anticipation of months of work built up, time slowed. Billions of electrons awoke from their slumber. They stumbled down the paths they once knew, all but forgotten from the past. The signal from the ignition spread out throughout her nervous system, bringing to life all of her organs in a mechanical symphony. And on a cold night in April, she cleared her throat again. Time, it seemed, had not beaten her yet.



Celebrations were short lived, there was still a long road to travel. Her heart was strong, but the rest of her was still very weak. A short test drive revealed a limping transmission. The brakes that once kept her supercar urges in check were all but rotted away. Of course, anything that popped up was nothing that couldn't be remedied with a weekend or two of long nights and cold drinks.





Then I finally drove her home. Not across the parking lot. Not down the block. We took the long way home, to a real garage. Looking back on that drive it was truly great. She drove flawlessly, all the years of neglect faded away with every passing mile. The engine pulled stronger than I could have hoped for, the racing pedigree screaming out all the way to the redline. It was a story book ending, and the beginning of something truly amazing. I got one last look as I tucked her in for the night.





The next day I awoke with excitement, knowing what was waiting for me just downstairs. There was still a laundry list of odds and ends that needed to be accomplished, but now that she was back it seemed like a mountain eroded into a molehill. Nothing was to big, nothing insurmountable. Nothing except what was waited for Heidi that afternoon.












She was just sitting at a red light.

They had no License.

No Insurance.



Time stood still.









Sorry, buddy.....
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Old 06-02-2015, 03:27 PM   #22
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1) Denial

It wasnít real. It couldnít be. Truly great things of such magnitude canít be shot down in such short order. The next few mornings would start with a blissful ignorance. A bright day full of optimism, only to be crushed and overrun as the daunting weight of reality set it. As days past, reality works its way into your subconscious. It doesnít wait for you to wipe the sleep from your eyes. There is no glimmer of hope. Only the painful truth that you have to accept. You slowly get used to the pain, numbing yourself just enough to get through each day. Only to be greeted again the next morning.

I stayed away from the shop for a while, I didnít want to face the truth, I couldnít. Eventually I was able to call my insurance company to start my own claim.




2) Anger

The numbness turns the pain into anger. Itís never fair. A truly great car is lost, and what do they get? A simple ticket? A fine? No, handcuff them. Take them away. Their careless mistake cost others so much more, and they go on their way with a slap on the wrist. Your stomach turns in knots and your blood boils just thinking about it. No physical pain from the accident can even match the emotion and mental turmoil.

Trying to distract myself didnít work. Anything could take my mind back to the moment it happened, starting the rage all over again. All the while waiting to hear from insurance. Surely it couldnít be valued as a normal e28. But with so few examples to go off of, what other choice would they have?





3) Bargaining

The mind can only handle anger for so long. When it tires, a million other scenarios fly through it, a flock migrating towards anywhere else. Why wasnít I one lane over? Why didnít they just stop? Maybe the damage isnít as bad as it seems. Maybe the chassis could be straightened. Anything to get away from the relentless reality of losing her.

I tried to avoid getting body shop estimates at first. My mind figured without a repair estimate how could it be declared totaled? But life support wasnít the way she was meant to live, and her time came.





4) Depression

Sheís too far gone. You know it. You can feel it. After being towed to the shop, where you were driving together before it all happened, you visit a few days later. And you just know. The rear door canít shut. The roof is buckled. The wheel well tears away at the tire with every rotation. Before there was a long hill to climb. Now itís a bottomless pit, unfathomably deep and impossible to overcome.

I wish I could tell you Heidi fought the good fight. I wish I could tell you that. But this is no fairytale world. The body shop never said the word. But I knew it. There were enough numbers to the right of the dollar sign to speak volumes with their silence.





5) Acceptance

People say time heals all wounds. But people lie. Some wounds never truly heal. Some wounds leave scars, reminders of past struggles. And reminders that those struggles are exactly that, in the past. Scars show strength, show determination. Remnants of experiences and turmoil that shape you into the person that you are today, and the person you will be tomorrow.

This is where you want me to say I will fix her. After all, I bought her back from the insurance company. Roofs can be pulled. Frames can be straightened. This is where you want me to say no road is too long, too difficult. And god do I wish I could. Ever since the accident my mind wanted one thing and one thing only, to bring her back. But the more I tried to convince myself, the harder it became. Maybe if it was just the accident, without the rust. Maybe if she hadnít sacrificed herself for me, buckling in the center to save me from serious injury. But card after card stacked against her, and I couldnít ignore reality anymore.


She was totaled.


I like to think I made her last bit of time on these roads better, that the time we had together was truly special. I'll never forget her, the things I learned or the time we spent together. Other cars will come and go, but I'll always have a piece of her with me.

R.I.P. Heidi


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Old 06-02-2015, 05:18 PM   #23
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This is an incredibly sad ending to a potentially great tale. RIP Heidi.
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Old 06-02-2015, 05:20 PM   #24
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dude, that is crushing. Sorry to hear that, man. what are your thoughts on continuing? Are you going to at least keep the engine? Find a donor? buy a miata?
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Old 06-03-2015, 12:27 PM   #25
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This is why we cant have nice things. I feel for you.
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Old 06-28-2015, 08:57 AM   #26
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Bump?
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Old 06-29-2015, 08:16 AM   #27
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If he updates this thread you will have your faith in the universe restored.
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Old 06-29-2015, 06:10 PM   #28
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Wtf. Somebody fill me in
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Old 06-29-2015, 06:17 PM   #29
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Ill update when I get home from work tonight
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Old 06-29-2015, 06:25 PM   #30
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Ill update when I get home from work tonight
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

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Old 06-29-2015, 07:25 PM   #31
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You boys are in for quite a treat
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Old 06-29-2015, 09:00 PM   #32
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This will be the last update for a while, maybe forever. As the pain of loosing her fades a few things have happened. First and foremost, let this be a lesson to everyone that if you care about your car at all, make sure to have it fully insured from day 1. I look back and think how easy it would have been to not worry about it, after all I was just doing short test drives. If I'd waiting even a few days this story would have a much sadder ending. But thankfully I made the right choice, and my insurance company came through. They ended up at a value that, if I'm honest, was very generous given the overall condition of her. Which meant I had more than enough money to buy her back and then some.

For the time being I'm holding onto her bigger parts. Namely the drivetrain and a few other misc pieces. I may end up selling them, I may end up using them in another project down the road. But for right now I have enough on my plate, when the time comes I'll know it and I'll go from there. Some of her smaller pieces have gone out to help other e28 M5's live on, which I think she would have liked. Her wheels are now in San Francisco, her front air dam is in Tennessee and her transmission brace made it all the way to Sweden. So in a way she is living on through them, and that's pretty cool if you ask me.

Finally, some of you may be wondering what I did with the rest of the insurance check. You can find that answer here:

http://ohiobimmers.com/forum/showthr...954#post156954
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Old 06-30-2015, 08:18 AM   #33
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